A close friend of mine recently observed that in ten short months I have pulled a complete 360 (or is it a 180?) when it comes to the subject of one night stands. Ten months ago I felt that sleeping with a man I was not in a relationship with was unsatisfactory. I did not consider the idea morally questionable, I just did not think it was for me. Now? Well, let’s just say my opinion on the matter has changed quite dramatically. Ten months ago, all I wanted was to be in love. Now? Now I find myself wondering if I even want a boyfriend. Do I? Really??
Let's consider this logically and take a look at the facts.
- Sometimes, it is nice to be cuddled by a man whose agenda is not entirely about getting a root. (That, I suppose is one for the Boyfriends)
- Sometimes, it is really, really nice to be able to sprawl across my bed and have a good night's sleep without anybody else's snoring or farting to cause discomfort. (Definitely a big tick for Singledom)
- Sometimes, it would be really nice not to be the only single person at a dinner party. (Boyfriends)
- However, having dinner, wine and smutty conversation with my single lady friends is totally awesome. (Singledom)
- It would be really, really nice to have someone to shag on a regular basis. (Boyfriends - or is that too strong a word?)
- But, if I had a boyfriend, how would I find time for my friends, family and myself? Would I have to give up taking myself on little dates to the cinema? Because they're very important for my sanity. (Singledom - although in the brief time I thought I could date someone this year [I didn't, of course], I did find my ability to make time for someone was suitably able. Too bad is wasn't mutual)
- Avoiding the constant emotional turmoil that comes from playing the dating game. (Boyfriends)
- Avoiding the emotional turmoil that will come from not being single anymore, as it will require a significant shift in personal identity. I could do it. I think. (Singledom)
- Not being able to rock to Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) with quite the same verve. (Singledom)
- The love bites (minus one point for both Singledom and Boyfriends)
- The birth control. That shit adds up and I always seem to be the one who pays for it. (minus one for both Boyfriends and Singledom - UNLESS a vasectomy and STI check are involved. Or a desire for a child. Then it is plus one for Boyfriends)
Based on this list, the math leans me slightly more towards Singledom. But I suspect this result is due to some biases considering that being single is all I have ever really known. The truth is my desire for a more permanent man in my life comes and goes, and appears to be loosely connected to the cycles of the moon and my artificially controlled hormones. I like to think that for the right person, I will easily 'fall' into a relationship.
But until then? Well. I shall just have to amuse myself.
